Tell me a joke

[BMR Genie]

Freight Manager.

Ohh, Nice!

We were just talking about customs stuff in the @flyingillini thread the other day. Do you also deal with that in relation to your transport?

 

[baz]

Ohh, Nice!

We were just talking about customs stuff in the @flyingillini thread the other day. Do you also deal with that in relation to your transport?

No, but we did turndown an applicant recently as a result of a 'Cocaine Importation" conviction on his background. Was too bad I couldn't reach out and ask him what the hell he did.

 

[BMR Genie]

No, but we did turndown an applicant recently as a result of a 'Cocaine Importation" conviction on his background. Was too bad I couldn't reach out and ask him what the hell he did.

Oh no! Too bad for him. I always believed in a 2nd chance, but in his case with that conviction record connected to cocaine? I don't think he will land a job soon.

 

[baz]

Oh no! Too bad for him. I always believed in a 2nd chance, but in his case with that conviction record connected to cocaine? I don't think he will land a job soon.

Yeah I would of hired him but I'm only the first interview. I passed him on to a second interview not even knowing he had it and still would of if I did. He did his time and didn't really have much else on his record. My boss was like "F*** no!"

 

[baz]

Best joke of the weekend, I was just reading about the Brett Favre lawsuit against Shannon Sharpe and in the comments someone posted.......

surfdogking says:
May 26, 2023 at 12:08 pm
Favre will throw and INT just as it’s about to be settled in court.

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[BMR Genie]

Yeah I would of hired him but I'm only the first interview. I passed him on to a second interview not even knowing he had it and still would of if I did. He did his time and didn't really have much else on his record. My boss was like "F*** no!"

You're a reasonable person, Baz! Yeah, I think the maximum penalty for that is 10 yrs, not sure though, but yeah, as long as he serves the prison time that's more than enough to give him another chance. If you're not going to give them a chance, who else?

 

[baz]

On the Rich Eisen show his co-hosts were asking him "What is a foot cleanout" regarding Jimmy G's latest procedure he said "IDK watch ESPN Rex Ryan will tell ya"

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

A young cowboy walked into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas. He sat down at the counter and noticed an older cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a bowl of chili. After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked,"If you ain't goin to eat that, do ya mind if I do?" The older cowboy slowly turned his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner said, "Nah. Go ahead." Eagerly, the young cowboy reached over and slid the bowl over to his place and started spooning it in with delight. He got nearly down to the bottom before noticing a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too..."

 

[BMR Genie]

"Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)"

 

[edawg]

Government agent comes to talk to the owner of a landscaping company about illegal wages. Company owner breaks down and tells the agent that there is a guy he believes is mentally challenged on the crew and that he only pays him $2 an hour, buys him a 6 pack every night just to keep him from quitting, and says he honestly feels bad for the guy because he does more work than everybody else combined. Agent says " That is the guy I want to talk to." Owner says. " You're talking to him."

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

What do cell phones and children have in common?​

If you have been looking for them for three days and you still can't find them, they're probably dead.

 

[edawg]

Some of the smartest biblical scholars have finally agreed that they believe Adam & Eve were in fact Caucasian. When asked how they came to their conclusion they responded "Did you ever try to take a rib away from a black man?"

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Has anyone made fun of Black people yet or will we be canceled as a forum if we do so lol, as they are the most sensitive group in 2023 ?

One day, I was walking down the road and I saw a black guy holding a T.V, and I was like "Damn! That looks like mine!", so I ran back all the way home and nope, lo and behold, it was still there, shining my shoes.

 

[Tanko]

"Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)"

Good one Genie.

 

[BMR Genie]

"Husband’s call to his wife:

"Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they may have to amputate my right foot."

Wife’s Response: "Who the f… is Paula?"

And if you find that hard to believe, you've never been married."

 

[edawg]

Uber driver picks up a nun. Driver gets up the courage to tell the nun it was always a lifelong fantasy of his for a nun to give him a blowjob. Nun replies " well if you catholic and single pull in to that alley" Aterwards the uber driver says "I feel bad I shouldn't have deceived you I am actually Jewish with a family." Nun replies "that's ok actually my name is Chad and I'm on the way to a costume party."

 

[baz]

Do you know why they call Italians whops? Cuz when you throw a piece of shit against the wall it goes 'Whop!"

 

[BMR Genie]

"A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Padre fan insists he's the most loyal. "This is for San Diego!" he yells and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for San Francisco!" and pushes the Dodger fan off the mountain."

 

[BMR Genie]

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

 

[edawg]

Do you know why they call Italians whops? Cuz when you throw a piece of shit against the wall it goes 'Whop!"

Geography teacher asks the class how Italy got its boot like shape? Angelina answers," My Italian grandfather told me God made the Apennine mountains that gives it is gorgeous shape." Little Johnny chimes in and says, "Oh yeah My Irish uncle told me God couldn't pack that amount of shit in a shoe."