So this is what the world has come to.
This past Tuesday, for the third time in two weeks, a green dildo was lobbed onto the court during a WNBA game – that’s Women’s National Basketball Association, in case you’re unfamiliar. Three other attempts failed to reach the hardwood.
As you may have heard by now, the people behind Green Dildo Coin (DILDO) have claimed responsibility for this outbreak – sort of.
In Thursday’s USA Today report, a group spokesperson said their stunt was meant as a protest of the “toxic” culture in the cryptocurrency world, and insisted the two people who were subsequently booked on disorderly conduct and other charges were not part of the group.
That dog did not hunt, Monsignor.
Journalists from both the sports and crypto departments have dug deep, peeled back the layers, and revealed the true story behind these green dildos. We’ll give you the added context you need to make the right choice with your crypto betting and investing.
What Is A Meme?
We’ve been down this Douglas Rushkoff road before, but it bears repeating: Memes are pieces of information that are designed to “go viral” in much the same way an actual virus works.
As an observer, you’ll ingest that information if it’s encased in what appears to be a benign cover – like a joke. Then your brain will process the cancerous messages hidden within.
Neon green dildos are inherently funny. Introduce one during what’s supposed to be an important event, and hilarity ensues. But what’s the real message here? And why has it been so effective that the price of DILDO has surged 257.9% this week, all the way up to $0.001206 as we go to press? That’s where things get significantly less funny.
Why Green Dildos?
Because they represent the manosphere.
If you’re a bully, and you want to discredit something or someone by making fun of it, sex toys are one of the oldest tricks in the book. Perhaps you remember the 2008 incident in Moscow where Garry Kasparov was speaking in support of an opposition “alternative parliament” to that of Vladimir Putin, and was met with a radio-controlled flying penis-copter.
Again, there’s nothing inherently evil with this behavior on the surface. Sex toys have been used for more progressive means, like the “Cocks Not Glocks” rallies at the University of Texas in 2016, or basically the entire oeuvre of the band Pussy Riot. But when they’re being deployed at WNBA games, that’s clearly a regressive attack on the players, the league as a whole, and women in general.
You may have noticed this kind of behavior is increasingly commonplace now. We don’t have to debate what’s happening out there in the open; Donald Trump Jr. even posted a Photoshopped image of his father throwing a green dildo off the top of the White House, onto an AI-generated basketball court of what appear to be women of color. Ha ha?
What Does This Have to Do With Crypto?
Thursday’s article by Ben Pickman in The Athletic has all the details. DILDO was created on July 28; the first green dildo was thrown the very next day. Conversations on social media livestreams show how people within the crypto group are hoping these actions go viral enough to send DILDO to the moon.
At least some level of co-ordination between the group and the tossers is taking place. “I just got confirmation L.A. is out of the building,” one streamer said shortly after a dildo went airborne during Tuesday’s game between the Indiana Fever and Los Angeles Sparks. “I was kind of thinking we could go and pay that guy’s bail, and just say, like you know what, we support green dildo throwers,” said another.
And that’s how we ended up awash in sex toys.
Now that you know how memes, memecoins and green dildos work, you can decide for yourself what you should do with this information. Ah, but did your humble author plant said information inside a tasty outer shell, giving you his own media virus in the process? Bet and invest accordingly.
